Saturday, July 26, 2014

the C-word you weren't expecting

I generally have words that I love and hate, or love to hate, or just hate in general. Every now and then, these words rotate out.  These days, I have a whole new perspective on one particular word. Comfort. Comfortable. Comfortably. Comfortableness. Comfortability. Today, I dislike all conjugations of the word. What I've discovered is that being comfortable makes you lazy

Example. You go to work in your regular work clothes. Nice, pressed, perhaps attire that fits you better than your regular non-working attire. Then you come home from work and change clothes, into something comfortable.  What happens next? Are you productive? Do you go out and garden? Do you then go to the grocery store? Do you crack open your computer and work some more? Generally, the answer is no. (Note: there are exceptions: many people come home and change into their yard/house working clothes. This does not constitute into something "comfortable" as you have changed into a different type of work clothes.) 

When you allow yourself to get comfortable in your clothes, you become more lax in your behavior and actions. You pile up with the book, netflix, or pinterest. Now, before I continue, the afore statement is NOT a slam. If you've ever met me, you know the first thing I do when I get home is change clothes. But, the fact remains that it makes you lazier. 

Now, take this same idea of being comfortable and let's apply it somewhere else. Oh, I don't know, let's say...relationships.

When you first start to date or get to know someone, you are on.your.toes. You are aware of what comes out of your mouth, the thoughts you share, and if you're interested in the person, male or female, you display actions that show you are interested in furthering and investing in the friendship/relationship. In a relationship this could be the flowers and the "how was your day?" texts or phone calls, in a friendship it might be a consistent conversation through texting or time on the phone, getting coffee, or other activities. But, as the relationship progresses, so does time. 

Suddenly, you don't have to work so hard because you already know that person. You know how they feel about certain topics, you know how their day was before you see them, because you talk to this person on a regular basis. And because you know these things about your person, you become comfortable. Furthermore, because you are comfortable and no longer have to convince that person that you like them, or that you are invested in your relationship, you become by default, lazy. 

I ought to say, that there is an enormous difference between being comfortable with someone and being comfortable or complacent in a relationship. You should always feel comfortable with your person, you should not feel comfortable with your relationship. It should be hard, and you should have to work at it. 

Being too comfortable with your relationship leads to being complacent. Doing things because they are a habit, without really thinking about why you do it anymore. Complacency leads to people who miss out on their lives because they are no longer sure what their life would look like without that relationship, or that person. Is it really worth it? Is the ability to stay in a long term friendship/relationship worth missing out on doing what you as an individual want to do with your life? 

Not to me, finally. That's a lesson I learned the hard way, and as my daddy would say, "That's not something I learned in a book." Truth. Staying in a comfortable relationship after the relationship has run it's course is NOT worth it.

Watch the link below. It's 40 seconds of your life. Don't be a Karen. Don't change clothes and get comfortable :)




Blog Playlist
1. Everclear- Santa Monica
2. Matchbox 20- Push
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers- Dani California
4. Jimmy Eat World- The Middle
5. Everclear- I Will Buy You a New Life
6. Weezer- Beverly Hills
7. Stone Temple Pilots- Interstate Love Song
8. Blink-182- What's My Age Again
9. Everclear- Father of Mine

P.S I'll be happy to listen to song requests. Clearly, I love Everclear. 

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